Aah the joys of seating oneself in front of the computer and typing nonsense. So much has been happening in the last week that I thought I’d have enough to sit and write about. Two sentences later I am beginning to wonder if I am merely going to end up humiliating myself but then that wouldn’t be something new, perhaps only a man by the name of George W. Bush has a greater desire and ability to keep a foot in the mouth at all times.
Speaking of good, old Dubya I can’t seem to find him anymore on the news networks. It is so remarkable for a person from this country to see such languid behaviour after being elected to office. Over here we are used to seeing ministers occupying their posts even before they have been allotted to them and even continue to occupy the houses and offices allotted to them well after being removed from office. Though I am sure Bush will be back with a bang. Even if he isn’t there’s the ever present ‘axis of evil’ he will continue to shadow box with and has to smoke out the rascals of the axis no matter where they are. A few thousand troops is a small price when compared to the larger gain which is errr…something someone who advices Bush knows.

The bank where I go to has implemented what is known as ‘core banking’. A fancy term for a fancy system that seems to drive everyone nuts besides the sagacious old guard who quite wisely tells people that unless they have urgent work they would do well to come another day. The past few weeks have been nothing but mayhem with lines that snaked through most of the bank with people just joining any line in the hope that it would take them to a counter where their work would be done. The beauty of central government organizations is that they implement the latest systems but they consistently ignore a crucial step in the implementation process called training, without which unfortunately any system seems to work as efficiently as a Windows system. So I had the opportunity of seeing old ‘Uncles’ arguing with bank staff with statements like “What ya buggers do all the time?” and often was the listening post for many an aggrieved customer. They seemed to think that I would have an intelligent opinion to share regarding how the bank was going to the dogs but then how were they to know of my lack of ability to make intelligent comments regarding anything?

I have also tried to enhance my health and appearance in keeping with the general trends of my contemporaries. After all this is the age of appearance when bodies are toned, enough gel in hair to lubricate condoms and machinery into the next millennium, jeans low enough to ensure underwear remains under nothing and every one seems to have an accent regardless of whether they have stepped beyond the limits of the city. I have tried gel but due to the lack of hair on my head it makes as much impact as the researcher who said that Bush was intelligent. I try clothes of various types but the clothing industry seems to have conspired against me to ensure that I shall never look very becoming in clothes (and no I am not willing to try nudity). I don’t get it, why can’t I be like one of the ‘dudes’? Although I am still undecided as to whether the lack of my conformity is as bad a thing as I make it out to be.